EstrillMarielGahar v2
by livid lizard
Summary: Estril-Mariel-Gahar is an andalite girl with a problem. She's a thorn in her parents' hind quarters, she's getting married to a guy she doesn't know and nothing is going her way.
1. Prologue

Everything is in reference to K.A. Applegate's Animorphs series. I own nothing except my original characters.

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PROLOGUE

I guess I should start with my name. It is Estrill-Mariel-Gahar. I prefer Mariel. It is less traditional than Estrill. Regrettably, we Andalites adhere to a strict code of tradition. Forgive me, I digress . . . You'll want to know my age, to whom I belong, and all of the other things that constitute an Andalite _female_. You heard right, not an individual, but a female. The Andalites are still in what xenobiologists specializing in Humans call the 'dark ages?' Is that right? Forgive me, I didn't devote as much of my attention as I should have to my studies. In polite society, females, while valuable, are subordinate to males in all respects. A girl's duty is to honour her father, a wife's to please her husband, and a mother's to either further her sons or train her daughters to be diligent wives and mothers themselves. The only females that are free of encumbrances are grandmothers because they typically outlive their male relations, what with the war and all (I can't wait to be a grandmother). I am bargaining chip for my family and a breeding prospect to the rest of the world. My apologies, I shouldn't weigh you down with lamentations, after all, you are a guest. No one wants heavy thoughts during a matrimonial celebration . . .

I'm sure that you were invited by one of the families and know little about the bride (it seems like no one ever does). I am seventeen years of age in Andalite and Human years– our planets calculate in the same intervals of _horos_.

My sire is a renowned, if not the most popular, fighter pilot. His name is Breeyar. I expect that you have heard of him and have some caustic remark in mind, but I beg of you to spare me.

My dam is the perfect female– docile, modest, demure, humble, blah. She is everything that a man could want so long as she is in her domestic element, a wreck when she is bereft of "home and hearth" to coin a Human phrase. This is the reason that she is reserved about my impending marriage. It means that her children are growing up and leaving her with only her daunting husband to cleave to. Not that they haven't grown to harbor some affection for each other, she may even love him, it's simply that they are awkward alone together and there is a lot of loud silence between them. I fear that I am about to become her in the same way that every daughter becomes her mother.

I also have two siblings. A little brother, the favorite, and a slightly younger sister. My brother was an accident, but my father opted to pay the heavy population tax than dispose of the much sought after son. I often wonder what would have happened if I had been the third child. I'm just being self-pitying; I honestly do believe that they would have chosen to keep me and suffer the consequences. My father is a hard man, not a heartless one.

My relationship with my parents is not what most adults would hope to have with their child. Instead of being the ideal daughter, prim and proper and discreet, I am opinionated, independent and forward. I do what I am told and nothing more. You might call me a smart ass.

This brings me to my most recent relational transgression. I have disgraced my parents in a most unprecedented way. I publically opposed my marriage and I am a runaway. I fled the most common of female afflictions: the arranged marriage. My father, being a shrewd business man as well as an outstanding fighter pilot, has foisted me upon the most prestigious warrior in my eligibility standard (the age and social standing of appropriate males for me to marry). I know that you're inclined both to sympathize with and to censure me for what I have done. I have damaged the family's honour and the value of my father's word, but you must understand that I _had _to escape.

I will walk you through my account of the fiasco that I have made out of the happy event. I'll even take you so far as my present state of being starved, filthy, and extremely uncomfortable.


	2. Mariel

Disclaimer: I don't own the Andalites or the Animorphs series.

CHAPTER 1:MARIEL

It promised to be an exciting day. The sun pierced the morning cloud cover with all of the brilliance that an autumn day can offer. The dew caught the rays and danced in the sunshine as it played across the blue and red grasses. I could feel the dripping blades slap my hooves in protest as I tore through their newly washed stalks. It was like running on a firm sea.

I was on my way to one of the biggest spaceports in this region, a virgin metropolis with the order and sterility that you don't find in human cities. In fact, the spaceports were the only establishments close to what humans would consider a city. It was the locus of stylized offices and several nond3script buildings that served as temp quarters to the base's employees and to the many soldiers awaiting activation or marching orders.

The purpose of my being there was to welcome my father home from the war. He was one of the lucky ones that were able to keep coming back for more, not one of those dejected souls that were forced to remain planetside with their families due to some sleight injury or mishap.

War has a tendency to change people, or so I've heard. Instead of being totally paranoid and withdrawn, he became belligerent and possessed of a permanent frown. My father was drafted into the service before I was born. I've never know a different man, so I can't complain of a better time with a better father than the one I know today. He is sincere in his love if not open with his affections.

He has come back on my account. He was needed in the negotiations for my wedding. It was finally time for my parents to wash their blades of me. I wasn't overly concerned. Final arrangements can take years. I have no idea what's to be arranged aside from the location, dare and time that my father hands me over to my husband, but I have a suspicion that it involves credits and other dowry items.

I arrived at one of the outposts to the military base.

>Present name, registration, and entry code chirped the automated receptionist.>

>Estrill-Mariel-Gahar. 2136868. Receiving a family member—code: 250.>

>Cleared.>

I took the chance to catch my breath so that I could swagger into the base. I moved from plush grass to hard-packed earth, burn and worn. The reddish dust rose in little puffs with every step I took and mingled with the dew spiked fur of my ankles. I was determined not to evidence my feminine dislike of the mud. I didn't want to give any warriors the chance to smirk at me. In all actuality, I was being stubborn more for my own sake than for any of the people around me who couldn't care less.

While pondering my image, I was jarred by the fact that I was late and that my family was probably waiting. Let me make a point about Andalite decorum: when you are due somewhere, you had better be there on the sharp side of the stroke, I mean, if you lose a leg trying to get to where you need to be, you had better be prepared to hobble the rest of the way. For me to miss this public reception, when I was so obviously a part of the welcoming committee, would reflect unfashionably on my whole family.

I dropped my dignity and ran. In my rush to reach the cradle that my father's ship was docked at, I barreled full on into a passing warrior. I tried to stop, but there was nothing doing. I hit him at a queer angle and knocked his legs out from under him and he fell on me. I could have died of embarrassment right there, panting under that warrior with every head in the vicinity turned, staring and laughing (for us, the look is the same).

The warrior looked back at first, like he expected something big and menacing to have laid him flat. Then he looked down at me. I was irate and mortified.

He smiled.

I melted at the look in his unusually amber-gold eyes.

He made a move to get up. I winced as I felt the momentary increase in pressure as he attempted to life himself off of me. He held out his hand to help me up with a knowing smile, but I felt foolish for being caught fawning and brushed the proffered hand aside. I righted myself rather ungracefully.

I sighed, >I tender my apologies, sir, and that my undue haste has caused you to fall.>

>I will accept your apology if you will grant me your name,> he replied formally, >and no 'sir,' mind you, I'm not old enough for that,> he added.

>M-M-Mariel,> I stammered like a simpleton. I looked up at him impulsively.

He nodded—a curious gesture that I took for acceptance. >And where are you so desperate to be, if I may ask?>

I regained my decorous composure. >To greet my returning father,> I answered him meekly. I felt like a coward and a hypocrite. I always tell my friends to stand tall in the face of any being, to never simper for the sake of some man's ego. How I longed to be able to look him in the face and tell him my business with confidence, to be able to laugh off our collision. I determined that I would…just as soon as I worked up a bit more courage.

>Well, I must be going, Mariel, up mayhap I'll run into you again sometime soon,> he said, interrupting my thoughts. I guess he took my silence to mean that I didn't wish to speak with him any longer. He turned and started to walk away.

>Run into me? That was so wrong,> I said before I could catch myself. I shrank back.

>Like you powers of observation or your sense of direction, maybe?> He shot back at me, sufficiently disarming the potential situation I had created. Our eyes met as he said privately to me, >I'll have my revenge on you some other time.> I knew by the way that he smiled that I would probably enjoy his vengeance. I smiled back.

As soon as he was out of site, I took off for my father's ship. I didn't have to think about Karrass now; I knew that I would have plenty of time to think about him the next time we met and the next time, and the next.


	3. Mariel

CHAPTER 2:MARIEL

As it turned out, my little intrigue with Karrass cost me dearly. To recap, I was late to greet my father. My father's ship, the _StarSword_, had already docked and disgorged its passengers. The welcoming announcement had already been made. A welcoming announcement lists the battles that the ship engaged in, the margin of victory (never mentioning the defeats), and a short mourning for those that had met the stars. The names of the lost were always released privately to the families. Basically, I had missed the entire social portion of the homecoming. I was in time, however, to receive a scorching reprimand from my mother. To save face, because I think that I deserve some kind of break, I will not go into detail.

My father witnessed none of this, seeing as how I was there to see him disembark. I must admit that he did look rather dashing. He waded through the press of bodies past other families welcoming their fathers, sons, and brothers home. He approached us with a smile. I had not seen him in almost a year and I must admit that I was glad to see him home safely. He gave all of us the appropriately lukewarm greeting, with an extra squeeze of the hand for me. It was the stereotypical family image. It was what everyone expected of a war- prince.

After much sophisticated mingling and showing what a perfect family we were (minus the fact that my parents had three children) and small talk with my father's closest associates, we headed home together. I had received yet another lecture for sounding condescending during conversation with the wives and daughters of my father's friends. I tried to explain that conversation with such dull people was a chore and that they wouldn't notice my tone anyway. My father smirked, much to my mother's chagrin, and my sister announced that she would be a much better woman than I was. My brother remarked that all girls were good for nothing, quickly amending that mothers were not real girls. It was cute and trite, but that was the way we were.

The grass was crisp with that added flavor that only fresh rain can bring out. We (meaning the kids) ran ahead of our parents then ran back to them several times. We ended up making the walk twice as long for us as it was for them. They didn't care though. The time for appearances was over and we were able to move freely. The usual place for children is behind and to the left of the father. The wife's place is to the right of her husband, not quite abreast with him. Because of my age, I looked insolent and undisciplined in contrast to my siblings who appeared simply happy and carefree.

My parents seemed engaged in some collusive conversation. I was alarmed by the fact that they seemed to stop when I circled back to them. I couldn't really tell if they were talking, but a gambit of facial expressions definitely crossed my mother's face for no apparent reason. They acted with a furtive air and my father looked flustered. My alarm turned to suspicion. Something wasn't quite right here. My unease closed like a vice over the previous moments joy of simply being part of the family, all cares to the wind. If I had only know then what I know now, I would have taken off at that precise moment instead of waiting for it all to come down on me.


	4. Karrass

CHAPTER 3:KARRASS

>Soooo....>

Karrass sat on an overhanging ledge watching the cool water lap half way up his calves. He listened to the insects buzz and the moved his legs. He loved the deeper sounds of water when it moved more slowly. He always lost himself around water. It was so easy to fall into and always pressed so close. He knew that it was strange, but he had given up on trying to explain it to the rest of the world long ago. They said that it was unnatural, that he was unnatural. It was the same with his father and look what he turned out to be, they whispered.

>Have a care, Karrass, and tell me what's weighing so heavy on your mind before I completely lose mine,> Tahaylik, his _shorm_, prompted his back impatiently.

>Wha? Oh, it was fine...>

>What was fine? I didn't ask you anything,> Tahaylik said kicking the ground.

Karrass turned and fixed Tahaylik with a withering stare. >Don't do that. I was distracted is all. There's no need to snipe.>

Tahaylik, not phased in the least, shot back, >Well, pay attention. I don't like being ignored any more than you like being held in contempt.>

>My bad. I just haven't had enough time to reflect on my day is all,> he said holding up both hands. Tahaylik was always puzzled by these gestures, but he let is slide. He knew that questions made Karrass uncomfortable.

They had been the best of friends upon entering the academy. They were still friends after Karrass dropped out and found work on the base. There should have been a social chasm between them a mile wide and an inch deep, but Tahaylik considered them equals. After all, he had no family to recommend him, so they both stood to gain the same in life as far as he was concerned. The fact that Karrass still had his mother was of little importance, but everyone still remember Jahar as a decent and kind woman and that helped to smooth the ground between them.

>Tell me about it. I can help you mull it over.>

>When have you ever been any good at thinking, not to mention mulling?>

>I don't have to think, I know already,> Tahaylik said proudly.

>So you think...>

>I don't think, I know,> Tahaylik insisted. He knew it was coming. He had set it up, knowing it would make his friend more amiable. _Wait for it..._

>I don't think you know either,> Karrass replied grinning. It was their oldest joke; it had forged the bond of their friendship that first day of academy training.

>Ha. Ha ha ha.>

Karrass turned to face his _shorm. _He was feeling much more amiable now. >Take a guess and we'll see how much you know.>

>It was a giiirrlll,> Tahaylik sang out, teasing like they had when they were young.

>Keep going.>

>She was the prettiest girl in the nine systems.>

Karrass smiled and chuckled. >One more time and I'll tell you all about her.>

Tahaylik closed his eyes and attempted to look sage-like. >She ran into you on the base and knocked you over. You helped her up and words were exchanged. She thought you were attractive and you felt like it was only because she didn't know who you were.>

Karrass stared dumbly. Then he shook his head with a smile and a sigh. >That's cheating. You should have just told me you were there instead of dissembling.>

>I wanted to drag it out of you, but you proved too difficult this time. Am I right on or what?>

>Dead center. I was doing a job for Ithileran, the "assistant to the HPC," because he is so important that he couldn't be bothered with his job. I was delivering a message to Lirem and she ran straight into me.> Karrass turned again to the water. The moons were beginning to rise. They cast a pallor over the landscape and reflected brightly off of the glassy surface of the pond. She shook me up. I move around so much, that I don't meet many people. It's like fate literally threw her at me. That's how strongly I felt. I usually feel so alone, but. . ..>

Tahaylik shifted and watched the grass gloss over in silvery and faintly red light. By Andalite standards, he was not attractive. Too tall, too thin, he could think of a litany of features that didn't inspire. Attempting to lighten the mood, Tahaylik said, Am I invisible? Because if that's the only special ability I get for putting up with all of the crap I catch from you, I'm not interested in rescuing from your loneliness any longer.>

>Shut up,> Karrass said as he pitched a clump of grass in Tahaylik's general direction. >Even you have managed to procure a bride. No family would ever take me.>

>Yeah, in about three years,> Tahaylik protested.

>You're three years younger than I am,> Karrass said quietly.

>Besides,> Tahaylik chose to ignore Karrass's last remark, >it's not like I know what she looks like or her name or anything at all that matters. I just hope she isn't disappointed with me.>

>She won't be. You're a good man and you already care about her whether you'll admit it or not. No, don't argue. You already think of her happiness. Consideration and respect are the founding principles of love.>

>Love isn't important–>

>No, it's everything. Even if you two hate each other, it's more than I'll ever have. Anyone that gets too close to me is immediately guilty by association. No respectable female will want to be legally tied to the son of the greatest military blunder since Seerow. My father is the scourge of the universe and I'm the one that takes the brunt of the people's anger. The fact that I exist is irksome. They wish that all traces of Alloran were gone so that they could just destroy him and have done with the entire affair. It's only by the grace of widows and orphans that the electrolate has let him live. I think there would be a riot if they gave the order to knowingly destroy one more family when there is already so much hurt and pain as is. I wish that they would just do it. He's never coming back. It wouldn't be worth it to come back and face the people.> He spoke heatedly and had to stop to breathe. His emotions had run dangerously high and he needed a moment to calm himself.

>He was known as a great strategist before. . ..>

>Before what? His name was dirt long before they started calling him _the abomination_. It started after he survived the revolt on the Yeerk homeworld, when the rest of his task force was slain. After the Hork-Bajir incident, there was no redemption whatsoever. He told me about it, you know. The council on war ordered him to release the virus and take the blame. They said that it would be worth his while . . . that he could come home and stay home after the scandal died down. It never did, he never came home, and that's all they care about. I think that their intention was to rid themselves of the Yeerk invasion of that world and the witnesses to it in one fell swoop. All of the men on that mission were supposed to die. That's why the truth about the whole situation came out after the fact. It wasn't even the truth! If all had gone according to plan, we probably would still be in the dark about the entire situation.> So much for calm.

>That kind of talk is treason, Karrass. I would guard my thoughts if I were you. They think you're a threat. You're angry, rebellious, and insubordinate.>

>Yes, why shouldn't I let the people lead me into the same trap that they set for Alloran? After all, it would be grand to see me fall. It would be a legacy of failure just as sure as Elfangor's legacy of heroism,> he said with a sneer.

>I can't hear any more of this as a loyal citizen. I hope you understand.>

>I'm sorry. I wouldn't want to compromise you. . .. Why can't it ever be about me though? Why can't I be Karrass and not Alloran's whelp?>

>Maybe it can be. All you have to do is to make the effort to be personable. People don't judge as readily as you think. I know that you don't want to hear it, but _you _have to try because you're the one who has the problem.>

They regarded each other in silence for a while. >Start with the girl,> Tahaylik prompted gently. >Even if nothing comes of it, you will still have made a connection to someone. It will get easier to accept people if you keep their company. Who knows, maybe sharing your life with others will lighten some of that emotional baggage you carry around.> With that said, Tahaylik turned to go. He felt both strangely relieved and saddened to finally have confronted his friend.

>Tahaylik . . .>

>Hmm?>

>Thanks.>

The full color of night obscures their features, but each of the friends knows that the other is smiling in the half-light.


	5. Mariel

CHAPTER 4:MARIEL

A few weeks passed and my concerns about the evening spent walking home with my parents were all be forgotten. Feeling exceptionally compatible, I decided that it would be a nice day to accompany my father to the space port for his final debriefing. I was making the effort to be sociable. I wanted to make up for all of the fuss made over my missing the homecoming.

I know what you're thinking, >yeah right,> but I _was_. I was just hoping to be more sociable with a certain warrior.

We entered the base from the same outpost that I had used on my previous visit. I saw some of the workers from my first visit. They smirked at me, but my father didn't seem to notice. All that matter was that they showed him due respect. My ears got hot (like blushing) and I followed close to my father's heels. I hate it that I act like a girl even when I don't want to.

The base was bustling this morning. I appeared that a pair of Skrit-Na raiders had been intercepted. Judging from content of the debris scattered around the ship, they must have been on their way back from pillaging. There was a ring of junk around the ship's cradle. Maybe it's just that I am a female, but I don't understand why we Andalites appointed ourselves the task of policing Skrit-Na activity. Nothing good ever comes of collecting interstellar garbage. Typically, we >relieve> the Skrit-Na of what ever treasures and lifeforms they had collected, just to make sure most of the junk is worthless. We detain the Na, leaving the Skrit onboard, so that we know where to return the lifeforms to. In the case of sentient beings, we erase this unpleasant portion of their memories as soon as we get them home.

I wasn't interested in the goings on about the ships. I was on a mission to socialize, remember? I was looking for Karrass. He was usually easy to locate. I came to the base often now and always at the same time. He took a break everyday at the time that I happened to show up. I just made things easier.

He wasn't where I expected him to be, so while I was _not _waiting I turned my attention back to the ship. Something was going down. A group of four warriors was standing at the base of the ship's loading ramp. They were on the alert: slightly crouched, all eyes facing forward, tails at the ready. I knew there was trouble just by the crouch– it's a flight instinct that prepares them to bolt. Most warriors were trained to control the instinct, but this bunch couldn't see their enemy, so the reverted to what felt natural.

From within the bowels of the ship, a cry rang out followed by the shriek of tearing metal. I could hear gravely screeches, banging and the scrabble of claws. I discovered that I was just as intent on the sounds as the warriors were and was just as ready to flee at the first sign of trouble.

Suddenly, there was an explosion of blue and green as the warriors leapt back away from the ship and the enraged Hork-Bajir burst form the hold. The two blades on the top of its head signified that the it was a female. Her red eyes rolled in terror as she took stock of the outside world. She had obviously been hiding and had reacted violently to whoever had been unfortunate enough to discover her. She had struggled, broken away, and tumbled down the ramp.

The warriors rushed her and she lashed out with her deadly blades. She caught one of the warrior's tails as it was arching toward her and had nearly severed the blade. Another, she landed a glancing blow on the cheek. The two wounded recoiled, and seeing her opening, she bounded incredibly high and landed just to the outside of their offensive circle. There was a pause while both parties momentarily regrouped.

The warriors were in no hurry to lock blades with her again and I suspect that she was beginning to feel the pain from a number of lacerations. A number of heads snapped back toward the ship as an equally bloodied Karrass skidded to the hatch, pulled a dracon beam from a stack of alien artillery, and shot the stunned Hork-Bajir point blank in the chest. She sat down heavily and stared at him panting. Slowly, she lay down. I learned later from the Na's log that they had collected the Hork-Bajir only yesterday. My first thought was, _what was wrong with this Yeerk? They were known to surrender at a leaf drop. _Then I had startling idea. _Could this creature be free? Where would the Skrit-Na have gotten such a beast?_

I felt a wave of pity for the poor brute. From her scarred dermis, I guessed that she had been used to fight for the Yeerks. That meant that she grew up knowing the Andalite as an enemy. She only fought to escape from what her mind saw as a clear and present danger. Had I been equally possessed of such a simple mind, I probably would have done the same thing.

I heard Karrass drop the dracon beam and I turned to look. The weapon clattered to the deck.He placed his hand inadequately over the three oozing wounds on his chest. Obviously she had kicked him.

He came stiffly down the ramp and approached the Hork-Bajir. She watched him, wide eyed as he lowered himself awkwardly to the ground. He placed his hands flat and palm down in the dirt. He tried to stop heaving, but the best he could do was to breath deeply of a bit, then pant. He balled up his fist and brushed his knuckles of the Hork-Bajir's shoulder. She tossed her head back and clipped her beak. She seemed visibly more relaxed. He gave her an Andalite smile then promptly stood and walked away.

Our eyes met as he passed me by and I fell into step beside him without even thinking about it.

>What was all that about?>

>She was kidnapped, dragged across the galaxy, deposited on a strange planet, and attempted to defend herself,> he responded ill-temperedly.

>I meant after you shot her. And don't take that tone with me. I didn't kick you, but I'm thinking about it.>

>They're right. You are forward. I greeted her in the way of her people so that she would know that we weren't going to hurt her. The head toss was her acceptance. The gesture was sharp up, but slow coming to rest though, which means that she didn't trust me.>

>How do you know that?>

>Know your enemy. It's as easy as that. I've been in a few battles and sometimes the Yeerks desert their hosts. It's a good idea to be able to speak with the Hork-Bajir because sometimes their nonverbal communicative efforts can be misconstrued as aggressive. Once, one of them even lead me out of a trap. If I were the common bigot, I would have killed him and been caught.>

I didn't know what to say. I didn't want him to get weird on me. So for a while, we were just silent together. And it was okay.


	6. Mariel

CHAPTER 5:MARIEL

I figured that he needed some help, so I had to say something after a while.

>I think that you need a medic,> I ventured.

>I'll be alright. It doesn't hurt.>

>Maybe you're in shock.> He looked back at me with half closed stalk eyes. It's the same effect as a kid rolling their eyes. >Don't even start with me, I was just concerned.> I returned his half-lidded look.

>I promise that I'll be fine. Tell you what, if pass out, you can get a medic. That sounds like a good enough compromise to me.>

We continued on in silence. He turned to leave the base, never once regarding me. I hung back at first, but then I guessed it was okay to follow him, so I did. I hoped against reason that no one saw me. If anyone watched me leave with Karrass, gossip could ensue and then my reputation would be nonexistent. Knowing all of this, I trotted to catch back up with him.

He continued on for quite a long time. When he finally stopped, we were on the banks of a small pond. He turned and narrowed his eyes. He must have been deep in thought and hadn't noticed me. His brow furrowed as he asked me, >Followed me home, did you? Well, my little stray, what do you have to say for yourself? If I know that you shouldn't be here, then surely you yourself know it.>

>I can be anywhere I want,> I said with more bravado than I felt that I had.

>Oh, really? I wonder what your dad would have to say about you walking home after a strange man.>

>My what?>

>Dad. It's short for father.>

>He would probably be livid, but that's fine with me. He'd take it out on you for being the strange one,> I smiled at him, but my smile quickly faded as I noted his pained expression. >Come back to the base. You need to do something about those cuts.>

He lowered his tail, the swung it out in front of him, flicking water my way. There was no chance of my being touched by so much as a drop.

>What was that for?> I demanded.

>Because you worry too much.>

>No one can worry _too_ much where you're concerned,> I countered. We looked at each other for a long time. It's strange how we can talk so freely one moment, then there's this awkward _thing_ between us. I hate it. It makes me sad because it makes me think of my mother. Is it like this for her all of the time? Will it be like this for me? I started to choke on my anxiety.

>Are you alright? Hey. Hey!>

I had to take a step back so that I wouldn't fall. He came forward to catch me. I tried to shrug him off, but that threw me off balance and he ended up catching me anyway.

>I have to go,> I said weakly.

>Let me walk you.>

>No! I mean…that is to say…just no. I can make it fine.>

>I know that you like to be independent and all, but-->

>It's not a girl-boy issue! You just can't walk me. My parents will already be mad that I am gone, but they will kill me if they know that I was gone with some guy that they've never met. I'm sorry that it has to be that way because I know that you only want to help me, but I have to go alone.>

>I see.>

>Don't be that way,> I started to plead.

>I'm not being _any _way,> he shot back. He turned to look away from me, shook his head then looked back at me. >Maybe you should see me at all. It was wrong of me to think that I could be friends with you. Don't say anything. You are a young, very pretty girl, but no family is interested in a loose woman. If you think that being with me makes you look that way, don't come around anymore. I am willing to let you go if that's what it takes to make you happy in the long run.>

Frankly, I was shocked. I shouldn't have been, though. I had suspicioned that he was falling in love with me and I with him, but I had chosen to ignore it. I liked the way that it made me feel to be desired and I didn't have a care for how he might feel when I told him about my betrothal. I was selfish.

I backed away, and then I turned and left him for the last time. I had a long walk home to think about what I had done. I hadn't meant to toy with him; it was just so easy to get caught up in his banter. I felt so comfortable with him and I could speak so freely to him that I never thought beyond myself. He knew how I felt when I didn't even know. That was why we had those unsettling moments. Those were the times when one of us almost spoke our affections, but lost the courage.

I determined that I would mourn my loss, and then put it behind me. I owed it to my future husband to be true in soul as well as body when I came to him. I may not have liked the idea of my marriage, but I was determined to enter into it flawlessly. I thought that I had enough time to forget Karrass, but life has a funny way of ruining even the best laid plans.


	7. Karrass

CHAPTER 6:KARRASS

Karrass shook his head as he watched Mariel disappear over a gentle hillock. How could he ever hope to compete with the man her parents had chosen for her? He had wanted so badly just to touch her face, to let her know that he felt the same way about her as she did about him.

He shrugged it off with a wince. _I really should go back and see Coaldwin about these scratches before he departs,_ Karrass thought. He lightly grazed the wounds with his hand only to be rewarded by an eye-watering stinging. _Maybe_ _I'll go tomorrow._

For now, he was going to have to settle for a good soaking. He turned and ran for the water. He dashed into the water and delighted in the spray that erupted in front of him. He hopped after the drops around the shallows then bounded out of the pool and sped off across the grass. When he finally came to a stop, he had started bleeding again. He looked down at his chest and he panted. Each rise sent another stream of blood rolling over and through his fur. _Maybe I'll go today_.

He set off for the space port at a brisk trot, but was forced to slow down before too long. He felt better than he had in a long time. Mariel hadn't said that she wouldn't see him again and that was news enough to dance for.

* * *

>You should have come to me hours ago,> Coaldwin, the ever sensible doctor, scolded his patient.

>Can you just patch it? You're leaving it exposed while you lecture me,> Karrass whined.

>I ought to box your ears,> was Coaldwin's jovial reply. He applied a thin film of syn-skin over the wounds. It burned momentarily, but Karrass didn't evidence his discomfort. All that was left was to bind the now flushed and sealed cuts.

>Thanks, doc.>

>Fine, fine, but next time, please come here first. If not, you could end up with a rather nasty infection.>

>Don't be an old woman,> Karrass gently teased.

>We'll see who the old woman is the next time you come crawling in here looking for my aid. How is it that you always get into so many scraps? This base could be quiet as an _iltarjach_ and you would still managed to make you're way here all beaten and bruised.>

>It's not like I look for trouble. I usually get the jobs that nobody wants around here. Nobody wants them for good reason.>

>Then why do you take them? You are a talented fighter and would be a credit to any captain's ship. If you would only apply, most captains would overlook you academy record. I know that I would after seeing you in the field,> Coaldwin said

>I've been to war and that is not the life for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for cleaning up the mess that we made, but I know the mortality rate of young warriors. I won't be one of them.>

>How can you say that? After all that your own father has suffered-->

>It's my father that's keeping me out of this war! They need able bodied workers here too and that's the demand that I'm filling. I won't let him come home to nothing. The rest of the universe will already be against him whether they will admit it or no. He will never escape infamy. At least he will be able to find sanctuary somewhere.>

>You talk like he's coming back…>

>He is coming back.> And with that, Karrass abruptly left Dr. Coaldwin's office.


	8. Mariel

CHAPTER 7:MARIEL

>You shouldn't have stayed out that long without a chaperone,> my mother's slight reprimand was springtime to my father's frigid remarks.

>You should not have been out at all! I had no idea where you were. After I heard you had followed that boy off of the base, I wish I had never been told at all! It was not only irresponsible, but it was out and out stupid. Of all the idiotic things that a female can do, this is possibly one of the worst! Never mind the kind of reputation behavior like that can land you with. Think of what he could have done to you. Who would have had any idea of where you are? Not me, that's for damn sure. Why, when I was growing up, a girl never . . . >and that's how it went for ten straight minutes. Believe me, I counted.

One down, one to go.

My father didn't say half as much as she did, but it was so much colder. He practically growled at me that if I weren't getting married, he would have disowned me. He stalked away from me. All it takes is the right words from my father and I start to wish I had never been born. I know he wanted to hit me, the tension was as palpable as piano wire, but he never would have done it.

My mother, if you can believe it, was harder to deal with than Breeyar. She made every one of my faults seem like a failure of hers. She made herself feel like a bad mother because of the way I had 'turned out.' She would look at me with the utmost disappointment and I would feel like the worst daughter in the world. She was a solid wall of guilt.

>Why, Estrill? Why do you continue to do these things? You know how much it upsets your father and me. We only want the best for you, but we can't do that if you don't help us just a little. If I've already heard about it, then the gossip will soon spread like wildfire. What do you propose to do if you husband's family hears about this?> It was almost as if she were pleading with me. I wanted to tell her that he was not my husband yet, but that would have just made more trouble. I wanted to tell her to hell with the gossips, that I didn't do anything. I just stared at the ground and tried not to fidget.

>Maybe I can make you understand,> she adopted a more serious tone. >Do you know who _that boy_ is?>

>If by that you mean do I know his name…> I said circumlocuted, trying not to answer her. I had already surmised that he was probably too old for me.

>You know perfectly well what I mean. He is Alloran's son.>

>Alloran? The Alloran? Alloran-Semitur-Corrass? The…the Abomination?> I was stunned. Karrass never mentioned that to me. It made sense. Every one regarded him with either pity or disdain. I never understood it, but it all made perfect sense. Suddenly, I was angry. Furious even. >Why should he have to suffer for what had happened to his father? Why should that matter? He didn't do anything. He can't help who his father is…was…whatever,> I finished lamely. I had to argue his case. He was my friend. He would be more if I could have my way about it.

>I know that,> my mother said patiently, >but it does not change the fact that he is closely associated with one of the most feared and hated beings in the universe.>

>Alloran didn't choose to be in that position. It was an accident; he is a prisoner of war. It doesn't make us look like such upstanding race to turn tail on one of our own because the circumstances surrounding him are unfavorable for us. Sometimes the electrolate has to face the facts. They screwed up. Karrass is innocent and striking out at him won't erase Alloran. You can't punish the Yeerk by attacking the host's son.>

>Shut up,> she said with more vehemence than I have ever heard. >Everything you've just said is treason of the highest order. It is fine you feel that way about it. I wish the whole world felt that way, but they don't. Don't do something stupid in the face of injustice that costs you your life. I don't want to turn on the news one morning to see my fool daughter indicted for sedition. It is hard enough to deal with the situation at hand without your being declared an enemy of the state.> It was, by far, the harshest thing she had said to me in a long time. I knew immediately that something had slipped. I wasn't aware of any situation, but I was about to be.

>What situation?>

>Well… >she trailed off. She looked around her and bent down to pick up a smooth stone. She turned it over in her hand then began to pass it from one hand to the other. She always had something in hand when broaching a delicate subject. She was acting especially uneasy now.

>Your father's leave has been cut short. He's needed at the front. We don't know…we just need to hurry _things_ along.>

>What things?> I knew before I asked. There was a lead weight in my hearts as she looked me in the eyes.

>It's time for your brother to start at the academy, your sister is in her last year of school and we need to prepare her for USTA, and we have to secure your future.> Uh oh.

>My future?>

>Yes.>

>The point in time yet to come that expressly involves me?>

>Yes.> My hearts sank all the way down to my hooves. >Your father and I have talked it over and we have decided to settle early. Don't get upset. All of our arrangements will be upheld, we will just move the ceremony ahead a few weeks. Your husband's family agrees with us. It is for the best.>

I couldn't even muster a reply. I thought that I would lose consciousness. I couldn't think, couldn't breathe. I was suffocating. >Give me a name.> I said in a voice so small that I could hardly hear myself. My mother leaned toward me questioningly. >Give me a name. I at least deserve to hear his name. GIVE ME A NAME.> I was fast becoming hysterical.

>Your father is well acquainted with his family. You should consider yourself luck to have such a fine match.>

>I don't care about any of that. Just please tell me his name. Then I will decide just how lucky I am.> I was beginning to breathe again.

>Ajaht-Litsom-Esth. I know that it is hard to marry a stranger, but there you have it. You can learn anything you could ever want to know about him. Don't let on that you know. It's bad _esdet_ for the bride to know before the wedding day. Don't ask me anything more. You already know more than I did when I married your father. It will be alright, you'll see. Things are always hard in the beginning, but they will be rewarding before too long. Besides that, you will be the envy of every girl your age.> She brushed my face lovingly and I leaned into her open palm.

>I'm really tired, mother. I think I'll rest for a while or maybe go for a walk around the garden…>

>Do you want me to come with you?>

>Please,> I started to walk away with my fingers trailing behind me, touching hers. I will never outgrow the need for my mother.


	9. Mariel

CHAPTER 8:MARIEL

The next day, both of my parents greeted me: my mother with a smile, my father with a slight scowl.

>Good morning. I hope the sun found you well.>

>And to you.>

All through the morning ritual, my mother tried to encourage me. Something big was happening today.

We grazed together. I only appeared as if I were eating though. I didn't have much of an appetite.

When I had eaten my meager fill, I made my way to the scoop. My father followed behind me and behind him, my mother. >So, what's going on?> I made the attempt to be conversational.

>Ajaht's family has decided to break with tradition allow the two of you to meet each other. I told them yesterday that you were a might skittish and she thought that it would be a good idea. Not allowing the bride and groom to see each other until the ceremony is obsolete now anyway,> she said brightly. She sounded just a little too happy.

>In other words, they know about me and were afraid that I would embarrass them on D-Day when I shrink back instead of stepping forward.> I had paid some attention in class when we studied the second world war on Earth. It was fascinating. I shall have to talk more about it with you some other time.

>Well, you have been know to act on impulse. Really, I want it to be a happier day for you than it was for m...most girls,> she shot a surreptitious glance in my father's direction, but he either didn't hear or had chosen to ignore it.

>So when are we going? Next week? Next year?>

>Today,> my father said with crushing finality.


	10. Mariel

CHAPTER 9:MARIEL

For the next hour, I tried in vain to discourage my parents from forcing me to go with them today. It was a mistake, I assured them. They should meet him and tell me about it first. My father claimed to already have met him on several occasions and that he could take no more of my bridal jitters, and that I was going. Period.

My siblings accompanied us as far as the base. From there, we hopped a jumper to another, smaller space port. This port was small ship reception and dispatch. It brought home the seriously wounded and the dead. It also sent the replacements back to the domeship the transport was registered to.

Ajaht and the rest of his family lived in proximity to this port. I didn't care what anyone said, neither Ajaht nor this horrible place was what I wanted for the rest of my life. I didn't want to see him, I didn't want to know him, and I didn't want to be bound for him 'forever and ever amen.' I didn't even want to think about being the mother of his children. I would probably end up saddled with his whelp within the year while he went off to fight. He would come home expecting everything to be great between us and leave me with yet another child to raise on my own. If he was like most men, he would be cold and distant so it wouldn't hurt so bad to leave us behind knowing that he might never return. Neither of us would be able to afford becoming attached. It would be this way until he retired or was injured. Maybe after the kids grew up, he and I would finally have time to really know each other. War would demand a sacrifice of all of us.

I tried to shake it off, but the more solutions to my imagined life that I came up with, the worse I felt.

The jumper docked on the south side of the base and we disembarked. Estrid, Ajaht's little sister was there to greet us. It was a miracle that she wasn't a complete mess after all she had been through. I couldn't imagine being sent off on a suicide mission with three complete incompetents and being the only survivor. The details were yet to be released, but everyone knew that the mission to assassinate the Abomination had failed miserably. I suspected that it was never meant to succeed, but I kept it to myself.

Estrid was about fifteen, so she wasn't really that much younger than me. She was a genius, but she couldn't fathom my discomfort. As far as the sciences went, there was no better, but as for domestic issues, she was naïve. The plans for her marriage had been long in place and she was ecstatic. She could hardly wait for the week to come when she would be in my place.

Let me say a few things about matrimonies. They are a week long ordeal. Each family has their separate celebrations. Everyone attends except the bride or the groom. If it was the bride's family giving the social, she was present. If it was the groom's family, he was present. On the third day, the actual wedding happened.

A wedding starts with a religious leader standing in the center of the witnesses. Beside him is a screen. On one side of the screen are the groom and his father. The male guests stand back on that side of the screen as well. There is some ritual rambling, and then the bride is called for. On her side of the screen, all of the female guests part so that the bride and her mother and her father may walk down the center. The bride formally bids her mother farewell and walks the last few steps with her father. The brides' father gives her hand to the religious leader and goes to stand with his wife. There is more ritual muttering, then the screen is pushed aside and the bride is supposed to leave her father and go to stand beside her husband.

The rest of the week is one party after the other. At the last of them, the bride is officially a wife and she and her husband depart for home. That's the short version of what is going to happen to me.

Sigh.

>You must be Estrill. I'm Ajaht's sister, Estrid-Corill-Darath. I welcome you on behalf of my family,> Estrid chirped. When I didn't say anything she prompted, >Our names sound a lot alike. Do you like to be called Estrill?>

>No,> I replied shortly.

>What would you prefer I call you?>

>Ottahere,> I said without thinking. My father kicked my heel sharply.

>Pardon?>

>Mariel,> I said Mariel. She regarded my skeptically, but said nothing about it.

>Follow me please; I will take you to where the rest of the family is waiting.> I wondered how far the genius would go before she realized I had no intention of following her, but my father nudged me onward. He made me walk in front of him. It was strange and I felt that I was on display, which I was.

I followed Estrid obediently as she led me to my fate. It was like following death to the underworld. I saw, in the distance two figures that I took to be Ajaht's parents. Great, he couldn't even come to meet me himself.

When we reached them, civil introductions were made and Ajaht's mother apologized profusely for his absence. I was irked, but I really couldn't care less. We all made polite conversation as we progressed into the family's property.

>There you are! We were wondering what had become of you,> Ajaht's mother said by way of greeting her son. She stepped aside, to allow him a better view of me. Ajaht's mother brushed some imaginary dust from his shoulder and he smiled down at her. He was elegant to say the least as he turned to me,

>I am Ajaht-Litsom-Esth and I am pleased to make you acquaintance. Would you be Estrill?>

>Mariel,> I corrected him with a courteous smile.

>Come with us to the scoop and we will get into some detail about the week's arrangements,> Ajaht's father invited my parents to come with them and leave Ajaht and me alone. I watched them go with a sense of utter abandonment, and then I turned back to the problem at hand. I turned my stalk eyes first and caught Ajaht contemplating my butt. I turned to face him, but he was composed by then.

>I had my doubts about you when I first heard what a little firebrand you were,> Ajaht said as he circled me slowly, >but after seeing you for myself…> He let the sentence hang until he had come back around to face me. Before he could say another thing, I eyed him and said as resolutely as I could,

>If you think for one minute that I'll roll over and give you anything, you have another thing coming. I'm not impressed by academy records, Ajaht, as they do nothing for me.>

>If you think that I am put off and won't take what I want from you, _you_, my dear, have it coming. I will own you by this time next week. Why, did they not tell you? They don't have the time to wait for you to come around, he smirked, and neither will I.> He said the last bit with subdued malice.

>Is that a threat?> I demanded weakly.

>Consider it a promise.>

>Upon my father's honor I will suffer your company, but if you ever say anything like that to me again, I will be force to relieve you of your ego. It's a promise and a threat.>

>Such ugly words for such a pretty face,> he reached for me and I backed away, >You may be more trouble than I first anticipated, but if you turn out to be half as good as you look, the challenge of breaking you will be worth my while. It might even be fun…for me, that is.>

I smoldered and growled. It was a strange noise and I didn't even realize that I issued it until he spoke again,

>Growl all you want, little girl. Soon you won't utter a sound without my commissioning it.> His smile was cold, like that of a predator after a thrilling chase. I was no longer feeling bold. My anger had deserted me and left only fear and loathing.

While we were locked in a battle of wills, our parents approached.

>It's good to see you getting on so well,> Ajaht's mother chimed in hopefully.

>We are indeed,> Ajaht replied, turning to look at his mother with his main eyes, >she will be perfect.>

That son of a bitch! His mother turned to me and I force myself to smile comfortingly at her. My mother noticed my unease and gently eased us out of conversation. We said our good-byes and my parents and I retraced our steps back to the base. I could rest, however, for Ajaht had taken it upon himself to escort us.

I bid him farewell and as I boarded the jump ship, he put his hand on my back. I stopped and turned my stalk eyes back to him.

>I am sorry that you are scared of me, but try to understand that I will have no foolishness from you. Don't make me be cruel.> It was, I guessed, the closest he could get to apologizing, so I was prepared to let it go. Then he did the unthinkable.

As I walked forward up the ramp, he didn't remove his hand. Rather, he let it slide the length of me back and down my thigh. I whipped my tail and rapped his knuckles with the back of my blade.

>Next time, I won't turn it,> I said to him on a private channel.

He pulled his hand back smarting and shot me a dangerous look as the door closed. I just batted my eyes.

On the way home, I thought about Ajaht. I was almost ready to forgive him. I had even begun to consider that he wasn't that bad and it was my attitude that had made him seem unpleasant. I tried to see it from my mother's point of view. If I had to marry a stranger, he might as well be rich, handsome, and absent most of the time. For the time being, there was nothing I could do. I would just have to put up with him.

That is, until I devised a suitable plan.


	11. Mariel

CHAPTER 10:MARIEL

Now for the unveiling of my brilliant plan. You know how it ends, you saw it at the beginning, but getting there was half the fun. I know what you're thinking—"It takes a real genius to run away." Well, it does. I had decided to break my parents' hearts and thwart all of the conventions of my society.

I didn't leave that day. I waited until after the first wedding party the following evening. I was going to give Ajaht one more shot. Nothing doing. He showed me off like I was a prized pet. We were civil, but I could tell that he was doing it just to rub my fur the wrong way.

He couldn't wait for it all to be over and done with. Our marriage was his license for sex. That was all the emotion from his side of it in a nutshell. Generally, marriages formally unite families of old friends. I have even seen girls married off to repay debts owed to the groom's family.

I didn't have any debts, I didn't seek a spot in polite society and I damn sure wasn't interested in sex (not with him in any event). That was why I am here…in the woods…soaked with rain…all alone. Kind of cliché, isn't it? Oh, I almost forgot, I had no idea in which direction I was traveling. All I could do was to press forward.

I trudge on praying that I won't be set upon vagabonds or be caught trespassing and sent home. This is where we meet.

As it turns out, one thing does go right for me—I have managed to get through the night unscathed. I feel exhausted, sore and very hungry. Grass doesn't grow well under the thick canopy of foliage and I'm not willing to jeopardize my escape for just a few steps of grass. If I ate off of someone else's lawn, I would be a thief and a run away. People don't like the disgustingly downtrodden and will pursue even the most trivial of crimes to be rid of them. I can confidently say that I am disgustingly downtrodden. Once, I had shied away from people like myself, but that seemed like so long ago.

Believe it or not, I am not a complete bitch and I did leave a note for my parents. I didn't say that I was sorry, because it I were really sorry, I wouldn't have ever left. I did tell them how I felt, what had happened to make me feel that way, and that I would be back someday.

I had decided before I left that I would not go to my friends for help. Being my friends, they would find some way to get me back home and into the married state. They would have my best interest at heart, but they didn't know all of the facts. They didn't know what Ajaht had in store for me. They would tell me that would be happy to be in my position; happy to be his brood mare. They wouldn't see how I could have a problem with it.

I was smarter than that. Yes, I chose to starve and freeze in the looming darknessof my second totally free nightfall. I was the master of my own destiny at last.


	12. Karrass

CHAPTER 11:KARRASS

A day off! Most of the ships currently docked were either being repaired or modified. He works on disassembling scrapped ships and the are no new vessels scheduled for landing until the following day. Karrass hadn't had a day to himself in a long time. Not since he had first dropped his rank and left the military once and for all.

He went in as usual and reported for duty only to be told he wasn't needed for the day. He quickly finished up his left over work from yesterday and made a brief round to make sure all of the previous day's repairs were on line. He was greeted stiffly be his older subordinates and with admiration by the younger ones. After he had ascertained that all was to his specifications, he headed home.

As he walks, Karrass thought of all the things he could do to amuse himself for the rest of the day. Tahaylik worked for a government higher up, so there was no chance that he would have a moment to spare. He did have other friends, but they were more in the way of bragging buddies and he never had anything to brag about.

Karrass is in too good of a mood to hear other men's exploits. They always talked about the girls that they barely got away with doing. Their favorites were the teenagers. It was a thrill to have a girl that was off limits. They were almost as much fun as their superiors' wives. Premarital relations were heavily punishable and the penalty was left up to the father of the girl in question. It never came to the loss of life, but the punishment usually equaled the father's idea of what his daughter's future would have been worth.

_I could always do with a little extra sleep_, Karrass muses. He weighs the option against finding his friends and sleep wins. Since seeing Mariel on a brief, but regular basis, his opinions about females have changed. He is just thinking that he hasn't seen her at all this week when he catches a movement out of the corner of his eye. Someone is stumbling in his general direction.

He is compelled to stop and watch her valiant struggle to rise. He has no idea who this dirty, ragged girl is or what she is trying to accomplish. He feels profound pity for her, whoever she is, and makes a start towards her to offer his aid. The closer he gets, the worse she looks. It is obvious that she is one of those homeless wretches, family fed to the war machine.

There is something about the way she carries herself (when she isn't falling) that strikes him as familiar. The girl is proud despite her miserable appearance. He stops to ponder this and to ruminate on who she might be. At first, he thinks her to be Mariel, but he dismisses it as wishful thinking.

_There's no way she would have come this far on hoof. They live on the completely opposite side of the base. If she had come through the base, surely she would have stopped long enough to say hey. What if the rumor is true and she did run away from home? Surely she would skirt the base to avoid being discovered._ He shakes it off. Even if she had run off, her family would have been frantic to find her and would have by now.

_If only_, Karrass thinks. She is an enchantress and he has been under her spell from the start. Because of her, he would take a chance and help this girl.

He walks over to her. She stares up at him, wild eyed, and abruptly looks down to study a hand. Karrass came to stand just behind her. He notices that one of her ears is cut, making a wedge-shaped slice. She also has a few scratches, but they are obscured by the mass of clotted fur. He can't tell what is blood and what is dirt. Several burrs are also lodged in her fur.

>Hi,> he said gently, >are you alright?>

>Fine,> she answered, obviously lying.

>Do you need help?> Karrass solicited, trying hard not to smile. She crouches down further, trying to hide in the grass.

>No.> She is being very short with him. He doesn't like the fact that she feels like she can be so curt. He is about to do her a favor after all. She is being too familiar with him.

He tries to lean around to see her face, but she anticipates his every move and is ready to parry.

Finally, he has had enough. >Turn around,> he demanded. If she wouldn't comply, he would have to coerce her into showing him her face. After a few more attempts, he gives up completely and reaches for her. She leans away to avoid his hand. Karrass hates to humble her so, but seeing no other way to achieve his objective, he catches her buy the chin with his thumb and forefinger like he would a common trollop. He jerks her face toward them with a neat flick of the wrist.

Her countenance is undeniable.

>Mariel,> he whispers in shock as his hand drops from her face.


	13. Mariel

CHAPTER 12: MARIEL

My night was miserable. I fully believe that nature has no sympathy for the hopelessly stupid. I had tripped into every root snare and fallen in every vine trap. In the preternatural dark of the forest, I could see phantasmagorical animals stalking me just beyond the limits of my night vision. My fear driven vigil had caused me to become delusional. The cuts and bruises on my body hurt and every time I started to close my eyes, I was assailed by dizziness. My hearts pound like I have been running for miles. It's been two days and I am already ready to die.

The sun rises bright on my wedding day. I am not impressed as the early morning rays blind me and cause me to pitch forward out of the forest.

I guess I black out again because when I come to, the sun is hot on my back and I am incredibly thirsty. I get up and try to walk. I don't want to get caught by whoever owns this land.

Too late. I see him coming over. I try to turn around, but I twist my ankle trying and fall heavily with an animal moan. I look up and know immediately who it is. Bloody tail, why did I have to fall in his yard? Of all of the lawns on this whole planet, why _his_?

>Hi. Are you alright?> He asks.

>Fine.> Maybe if I lie, it will be enough to convince him that I am sincere in wanting to be left alone. I know that it won't work, but I have to try.

>Do you need help?> He comes up to me and tries to get a good look at my face, but I evade him.

_Just go away_. >No.>

He tries to reach for me, but I don't want to be touched. I don't think there is a part of me that doesn't ache or sting.

>Turn around,> he says firmly. I try to ignore him. Not the smartest of tactics I know, but I feel like crap and I just want to get away without him seeing me this way. Then he snaps his hand out and catches my face. He turns it to him, the jerks his hand away.

>Mariel,> it's little more than a though-speak whisper, but it says a lot. I can feel his disgust, his concern, and his need to comprehend. He steps back clumsily. >Mariel,> he says again disbelieving, >what happened to you? How? Why?> He kneeled down in front of me (a difficultthing to manage)and put his palm on my face to lift it so our main eyes would be level. He is kissing me, but he doesn't notice and I don't call his attention to it. >Can you stand? Come on. We'll wash some of this off,> and he picks a clump of my off of my shoulder with his other hand, >and see how bad off you really are. I can take you back to the base—>

At that, I lose it. I struggle wildly to break free, but he wraps his arms around my waist, effectively restraining me. >You can't. They'll come for me…take me back…make me marry him…> I look up at him, >I can't marry him. I hate him! He doesn't care. They all tell me that I'm lucky, that I should be happy.> If I could cry, I would.

He looks at me like he understands perfectly and I breathe a sigh of relief. He won't betray me to Ajaht, I know he won't. >Alright, calm down. Nobody's going to make you do anything right now. At least come home with me. We can talk more about it there.>

I was shaking so hard that he had to hold me up most of the way. I'm glad. I don't think I can walk on my own anyway, my ankle hurts so badly. I lean on him heavily and we make slow progress towards his scoop.


	14. Mariel

CHAPTER 13:MARIEL

The first thing that I notice about his scoop is that it is extremely crowded. And this wasn't any old Andalite clutter—this junk was from anywhere but here. I didn't mind, seeing as how Karrass himself seems a little out of this world.

>Where did all of this come from?> I just have to know.

>Where do you think? Guess a place and there is something here from that planet,> he looks back at me, smiling.

>What do you do with it?>

He picks up one of the numerous colorful objects and opens it. It's like a box, but it is solid. He starts to leaf through the papers, >This is called a book. Most of them happen to be from Earth, but I have several from other systems. The Skrit-Na have a rather unhealthy obsession with Earth. Most of the stuff here is some type of book.>

>What do you do with it?> I studied the book.

>You read it,> he replied, but I was already ahead of him. The writing on three of the outside surfaces was in Gallard. >Great Expectations,> I read out loud.

>That one is fiction, an imaginative story.>

>Where did you get all of these books? Why do you have them?>

>I take them whenever we ground a Skrit-Na raider. Most of the stuff they collect gets incinerated, so I am free to take whatever harmless junk I want. The books are very entertaining. They occupy my time.>

>Can you read them all?>

>Most of them. I have found humans to be the most frustrating, though. No other species ever encountered speaks so many different languages. I borders on the ridiculous. I would love to know how they communicate with each other since there are so many languages that one might or might not speak.>

>They don't all speak the same languages? I'm a little incredulous. The idea of living on the same planet and not speaking the same language sounds insane.>

>No. Languages seem to follow geographic trends. Sometimes there are breakdowns, but it's mostly regional. Humans are a fascinating species for study, but it must be confusing being among them.>

>Hmm,> I ponder the book, turning it over in my hands the same way my mother does when she is confused or upset, >so what do they write about?>

His smile deepens. I can tell that he is enjoying talking about all of these books. >Anything, everything really. Murder, aliens, growing up, politics, journeys, morality, love. The events can be real or fake.>

>Why would they go to all of the trouble to write something down if it is not real?>

>For amusement. To share their ideas, hopes, dreams. They envision their futures sometimes. Other times, they try to teach whoever is reading a lesson. It's all about conveying one's emotions. There is something that the author wants his or her readers to take with them when the book is over, something to remember and to effect you. Even the true events are biased toward the writer. They are a very imaginative people. Some of the things in these books have scared me more than going into battle does…did.>

I looked more closely at the book in my hands. _Is all of this bound paper really the thoughts and feelings of a dead human from a plant light-years away from me?_ The magnitude of it all unsettled me and I put the thing down.

>I'm sorry. You're hurt and here I am prattling on about alien literature.>

>It's not all that bad,> I start to say. The cuts and bruises don't hurt nearly as bad as they did earlier this morning.

He leads me through the scoop to an area that contains the fresh water supply. He draws warm water in a basin and hands me a piece of cloth.

>I'll leave you to wash up. Come outside when you're done and we'll talk about what to do next.>

He left me and I set about the arduous task of wiping off all of the slop I had accumulated over the past two days. It feels like it takes forever. Sometimes, I have to stop and break the filth apart before I can continue. I get most of it, but there is some that will have to be dealt with in a bio-decon unit. Because of all of the fur, getting wet to get clean is not the best option, so every so often, we go through a dry process that burns off specified microbes like bacteria (Andalites do _not_ have pests mind you) and organic/inorganic materials like dirt and leaves. Most scoops have one and Karrass's is to my left. As dirty as I was, it would have taken longer if I had just used the unit. I step in, dial up what I need and I am done in 3 minutes.

Now it's time to find Karrass. A part of me is thrilled, but another part of me is worried. I love the idea of talking with him, but I know that he will take me back to the base. I know that I will have to see a physician for some of the nastier scrapes. Ultimately, I know that it means that I will have to go home. I will have to return to my family. Return to Ajaht's life.


	15. Karrass

CHAPTER 14:KARRASS

What is he going to do? Karrass paces back and forth in front of his scoop. He knows that Mariel can't stay with him and he also knows that she will bolt again if he tries to take her home. Why couldn't she be like all of the other females on the planet? Then she wouldn't be so…so…

>Alright, let's go,> Mariel announces. At the sound of her voice, Karrass jumps. He wonders if she knows what he was thinking.

>Go where?>

>You want to take me back to the base now, don't you? I can't really blame you. I wouldn't want to be responsible for me either.>

>I wish I didn't have to,> Karrass starts wistfully, and then stops.

>It's not your fault. Running away is never a good solution. I'll just have to face it.> She looks down. It sounds like she has accepted her fate, but Karrass still thinks she looks a little mutinous.

>That's the Mariel I know,> Karrass says with a half-smile.

They start off in the direction of the base. They don't talk, but as they approach the perimeter, Mariel maneuvers herself closer and closer to Karrass. At the last moment, she reaches for his hand. He is surprised, but he gives her a reassuring squeeze before dropping her hand.

>Present name, registration, and reason for entry.> The automaton is as dry as ever.

>Karrass-Semitur-Ashul. 1576213. Routine inspection code:426.>

>Cleared. Welcome, Forman.>

Karrass and Mariel pass into the base.

>Forman? You never told me that you were the head mechanic.> Mariel says with a surprised look.

>What's there to tell? I supervise the cannibalization of scrapped fighters.> Karrass tries to sound nonchalant, but he has to admit that he has an important job.

>When I first met you, you were relaying a message. Then the other day, you were unloading the Skrit-Na raider.>

>I relayed the message because I had taken a break and was asked to do it. About the Skrit-Na ship, I always inspect every vessel that docks at this port. That's in my job description. It was my misfortune, however, to come upon that Hork-Bajir.>

Karrass is pleased to have surprised Mariel. He has a feeling that not many people had ever done that.

>Why did you lie?>

>What did I lie about?>

>You said that you were entering to make rounds.>

>I am. I can still walk around even if there isn't anything new that needs my attention. Maybe I'll go bully some of the trainees,> he added mischievously.

>You'll do no such thing. You are going to walk me to med bay, and then wait on me.>

>If you insist,> Karrass bowed low and Mariel walked past him. He watches her, admiring the way she moves. _She's so graceful_. He shakes it off and takes a short bound to catch up with her. She leads the way, even though she doesn't know where to go.

>Turn left here,> Karrass instructs her silently. She knows that he is letting her lead and she gives him a warm smile.

>Here we are. I'll wait for you out here. It might not be such a good idea for us to be seen here together.> He looks at her sheepishly.

>It shouldn't be long.> Mariel disappears into the office.

Karrass waits outside for her. As he waits, he looks around at the base. He is greeted by some of the regulars, returns their greetings and goes back to waiting. Presently, he sees Ajaht in the distance. He knows Ajaht, everyone does, and he doesn't like him.

He and Ajaht don't get along, to say the least. Ajaht has no respect for Karrass job. Once, while serving on the same ship, he and Karrass got into a fight. Ajaht likes to jeer and make fun of Karrass's choice to stay planetside and Karrass likes to embarrass Ajaht however he can. Mostly that implies sliding things in Ajaht's way so that he trips over them in mid brag. Theirs is a bitter rivalry that is the subject of many conversations around the base.

>Good day,> Karrass calls good naturedly as Ajaht walks by. He is in need of a diversion and Ajaht is a much better target than a bunch of trainees.

>Good indeed,> Ajaht replies stiffly. He is mellow today.

>Something gone awry, has it?> Karrass says brightly.

>As a matter of fact, it has. Maybe you had something to do with it. You see, today is my wedding day and I am still missing my bride. I think you know Mariel. You haven't by any chance seen her about, have you?>

>I know her very well indeed>, Karrass said meanly, >but I haven't seen her for quite a number of days.> Karrass knows that he shouldn't taunt Ajaht, but he can't help himself. He is shocked to learn that Mariel is supposed to be marrying Ajaht, but is not surprise that she is begging not to be returned to him. He wouldn't want to marry this arrogant pup either if he were a girl.

Ajaht glowers at Karrass, >I cannot begin to think where she could be. This base was my first guess, but no one has seen her as of yet. Be a good boy and let me know if you do.> Ajaht says the last part with a sneer and stalks off.

Karrass is just thinking that he would love to beam Ajaht with a rock when Mariel steps out of the office building.

>That was an experience,> she starts to say, but Karrass interrupts,

>Let's go. _He's_ here looking for you.>

>He? He…Oh. You know?> Mariel looks down, ashamed for not telling him in the first place.

>I do now. He walked by and asked after you.>

>I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner.>

>It's alright. You were upset. You still look pretty tired. We should get out of here.>

>Yeah, let's go.>


	16. Mariel

CHAPTER 15:MARIEL

I laugh as we dash around the back of the office. Karrass and I are avoiding Ajaht. I haven't seen him yet, but Karrass assures me that he is here. This is more fun than I have had in a long time.

>Just a little farther and we're out of here,> Karrass says behind me. I feel like a little girl again hiding from my parents when we really need to be somewhere. I feel so good that I slow down to a walk to give Karrass the chance to catch up with me. He's fast, but no half so nimble.

>Mariel!> I hear somebody call and I stop short. I look back and see Karrass stop short in the shadow of the last building, so I know it isn't him. Then to my horror, Ajaht walks up to me. >Where have you been? Everyone I know is looking for you. Did you not remember that we are to be married within the hour? I had almost given up on you. Let's go, it's not too late.>

He takes me by the arm and marches me out of the base. I can tell that he is furious, that he is just being nice for appearances. >When I get you to myself, your going to regret running from me,> he hisses privately to me. I blanch, but it really isn't noticeable. I look back at Karrass, hoping that he will help me, knowing that he can't.

It is unpleasant to say the least, walking all the way back home with Ajaht towing me. My reluctance makes my hooves slow and heavy and Ajaht practically drags me along.

When we reach the edge of my parents' meadow, my little brother sees us and runs back towards the scoop. >Mariel is home. Mother, Father! She's back home.>

>Not for long,> I say bleakly and Ajaht's grip tightens. >You're hurting me,> I protest.

>You should have thought about that sooner.>

My mother comes out to receive me and ushers Ajaht and me into the scoop. By now, he has let go of my arm and I can feel the blood pulsing back into it.

>Ajaht, tell your mother not to let the minister leave, that we will be there in a bit.>

After he leaves, I try to plead with my mother, but she will have none of it. >I have had enough. This is it. You are so lucky that we decided to wait until it was undeniable that you were gone to call off the wedding. Do you have any idea how your father and I would have looked in the face of your latest stunt? This is inexcusable, but there is nothing I can do about it now. Here is the _tsian._ Let me put it on you and we can get this over with before anything else goes wrong.>

I barely have time to breath before she pushes me out of the scoop and into the waiting transport. _This can't be happening. It's too fast. No way were they making me go this now. I just got home._ I am numb as I am handed into the transport and we speed off towards the gathering site. My father smiles beside me.

>Your mother is still angry, but she will forgive you for this. I've already forgiven you. I'm glad you came back,> my father pats my hand and I know that he loves me.

When we come to the matrimonial, I am enveloped by my female relatives and my soon to be relatives. The sheer volume of thought-speech chatter is giving me a headache. I need to be alone. I need to have a moment to breath. I feel hands touching me, smoothing my fur in places, correcting the setting of my _tsian_ (it's like a flower wreath on my head). They all back away and sigh for the breath of fresh air.

But I don't get to enjoy it. The minister is calling for the bride and here's my father. I feel like I'm not really here, like this is not happening to me.

I take my father's arm and we start the bridal march. There is an eerie hush as I walk toward the screen. I look to my right and see my mother. She looks so proud. My knees start to buckle, but my father supports me and helps me forward. When he does this, I remember Karrass. Was it only this morning that he was helping me along in the same manner? I can almost hear him calling me.

Wait, I can hear him calling me. The master of the ceremony stops speaking and every head turns to looks toward the back of the gathering. Karrass is there. He is panting and looking at me desperately, imploringly, but I didn't here what he had said. He takes a deep breath, lets it out and addresses me for what appears to be a second time,

>Please, tell me and you will never have to see me again.>


	17. Epilogue

EPILOGUE

>Mother!> I hear my son calling me from across the yard, >Mother, Grandfather is here.> I see them coming form a distance, my son racing in front of the older man. We're celebrating my daughter's natal day. She is three. I can't believe that it has been that long ago since I ran from my first wedding. I look at my nine year old son and my little daughter and I wonder what could have been. It all could have been different…

>Mother, we can start, we can start. Where's dad?>

>I don't know, go find him,> I shoo him off and watch him run top speed to find his father. I chuckle a little to myself.

>That kid is a little firebrand, he is.> I hear a voice behind me and I turn my stalks toward the sound.

>He gets it honestly. How are you Alloran?>

>Good, good. And how are you?>

>Couldn't be better.> I watch my husband and son race each other across the yard. Karrass comes to a stop, but Caysath runs another lap around us. Bannon toddles out in the company of my parents, sister and brother, >Grampa,> she calls.

We all meet with a laugh. It's my sister's turn to get married and my parents have decided to go a different route with her than they went with me. She knows her affianced, she even chose him herself. My parents forgave me for eloping. It took them until I told them that I was pregnant with my son. We're all on good terms with each other now.

>Can we start now?> Caysath asks for what feels like the millionth time.

>YES> we chorus, and then laugh at ourselves.

If feels good having my family about me.


End file.
